For those who know me know that I'm not an overly loud person. I like to have fun, joke around and laugh a lot; but I'm the kind of person who would rather just brush something off than get into an argument or feel like I need to explain myself to someone just to feel better. I've learned over the years that some people don't understand why I do what I do, especially when it comes to fitness and nutrition. And that's ok. This is my life, no one else's. I don't need to impress anyone and I sure as hell don't need their approval. I have had friends come and go in my life, and although I do miss the good times we have shared, I understand that people don't always stay in your life forever. That's just a part of change and growth.
Growing up I never felt like the favourite child. Although I was never actually neglected, there were many times when I would give in to my older siblings because I felt like my opinion didn't matter as much. I learned to accept that quite early in my childhood. Many family members have judged me constantly; whether I was partying too much when I was younger, or not eating dessert at the last family event; they thought I was too fat or too skinny (the most recent one being that I'm 'melting away'); it seemed like I was always doing something wrong. For the most part, I'm quiet around family because I'm actually scared to share my feelings most of the time. I keep a lot of my emotions and feelings to myself because I know I don't receive a lot of support from family and friends; the ones whom you'd think would support me the most.
Especially in this industry, people are going to judge you. Whether you're putting on 'too much muscle' as a female, or bulking as a male, cutting weight for any specific reason or skipping on dessert because you just don't feel like it, someone's always going to say something. As this has been a consistent part of my life for the greater part of 10 years, I know just how important it is to stay focused on your own goals and not worry about everyone sitting on the sidelines. You learn not to take comments to heart, especially when the person making the comments doesn't understand why you do what you do. And really, you don't need to explain yourself. If they're rude enough not to ask or want to learn about your life, then you shouldn't be offended when they make comments that are so far from the truth. People saying I look too skinny and my face looks sick? Well that's just bullshit. I'm healthier now than I have ever been and if you don't understand that then that is your issue, not mine. If you're on social media and haven't even met me before then you better believe I don't care the slightest about what negative comments you have to say. Remember, your only competition is yourself and this is your life, no one else's. Brush that shit off and carry yourself talk and proud. Do what you want to do and enjoy every single minute of it!
"Don't judge me. You can't handle half of what I've dealt with. There's a reason I do the things I do, there's a reason I am who I am."
Originally written: October 11, 2015