Inspired by Danielle Laporte, author of “White Hot Truth”
“Eventually, you must love yourself just because of, well, your self... your beautiful, luminous, powerful, magnificent, righteous sacred self.”
We spend so many years talk about how we take care of ourselves with a clean diet, lots of exercise, go for massages and spa sessions, participate in yoga and spiritual practices. But all those years don’t seem to add up to inner strength and kindness for ourselves. So when we begin to understand and develop unconditional acceptance for ourselves, then we are really taking care of ourselves in a way that pays off through inner strength instead of outer dependencies; a way that expands us with more growth and more joy. Deep growth occurs when our self-care is a celebration of goodness and value upon ourselves, not on what needs to be fixed. Signs from the Universe can absolutely guide us through our journey of life and self-love, but we want to find those signs everywhere – including within ourselves – that we truly do love ourselves.
A few notable points for self-love:
You start where you are and love what you can. Pick anything that you can love yourself for in every day, whether it’s that you closed a business deal, how perfectly groomed your eyebrows look, or that you put on clean clothes.
You practice good manners with yourself. The things you say to yourself in your own mind; would you say that out loud to your best friend or someone on the street? Probably not. So practice those same kind manners with yourself, always.
You allow your light to be reflected back to you. That’s the purpose of friends and family; when you’re not able to be kind and compassionate for yourself, allow those around you to rally some up for you!
You hang out with people who love you. This isn’t being snooty; it’s a minimum health requirement!
You prioritize pleasure. Eventually after years of continually being hard on yourself, this is one of the best things you can do. Pleasurable things heal and empower you.
You reward yourself for trying. Not only if you succeed at something, but for actually trying! Commend yourself for showing up, because usually that’s the most challenging part!
You go beyond tolerating your so-called shortcomings to actually accept more parts of yourself. Tolerance keeps you on guard; acceptance acknowledges your strengths and weaknesses, creating an intimacy with yourself that cannot be interrupted.
You befriend your loneliness. This is the feeling of experiencing yourself as the centre of your Universe. It makes us more responsive and available to connect with the world, and when we can care and connect with our loneliness and care for others, we care more about what we’re creating in this world. *
* This one REALLY connects with me!
You have healthy boundaries. “How much you love youself and how you feel about yourself are directly proportionate to the quality and integrity of your word.” (Don Miguel Ruiz)When you value your time and your word, you understand that every commitment you make is sacred, because you are sacred.
You take risks. Find out what you’re really capable of. Trust yourself and trust that life will back you up when you dare to grow.
You apologize. Loving yourself means that you can completely understand what’s happening; when you go wrong and hurt people. You know that your identity won’t shatter when you admit to faults. Your foundation of self-compassion and awareness helps support you.
You hold out. Self-love gives you the power to say NO; to walk away and to be at peace with where things are at for now.
You love yourself like it’s your job. This is both the journey and the destination. It’s how we make life choices and how we treat our bodies. Love yourself like your life depends on it, because it does.
You will love more people, more deeply. Self-love expands onto others in the sense that we are all connected. You want the same freedoms and fulfillment for others that you want for yourself.
“Loving yourself doesn’t guarantee that you will be loved by others. The only guaranteed result of loving yourself is that you will love yourself. You’re ‘The One.’ Because you said so.”